So it has been like about a week now and I’ve started to doubt if I can actually do this. It’s terrible; I can’t watch my favorite TV shows anymore because, unfortunately, they’ve got a lot of love scenes and I have to turn my eyes away when there’s a steamy scene or turn it off even when there’s just sappy love dialog…at least there’s still “The Office.” If I start to think of my ex I have to change my train of thought, or even when I start to think about a boy who’s really cute.
It’s like I’m fighting with everything in me; with my body, with my mind, with my words. It’s exhausting. Now I see why so many people fall into passionate sin. It’s appealing, it’s natural. I remember a song, it’s called “Give Me Faith” by Elevation Worship, it goes, “I may be weak, but Your spirit’s strong within me, my flesh may fail, but my God you never will.” Which reminds me of a verse, “watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak,” (Matthew 26:41)
I need to remember that.
And if I do slip up, and I will, it’s okay. I’m not meant to fight this battle alone. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. But this is going to be hard.