Oct 17th Down the Slippery Slope I went…

So me and God have been on the outs for a few days now. I just can’t believe that God, who is love would let me hurt so badly, (I had just gotten out of a relationship in September), I’m pretty sure I want to start dating again though. My ex says I deserve a better man but can’t he see that him admitting that makes him more attractive!?

I just want someone who will be there. Since God seems to want me to grow old and die alone (this was funny for me to read lol) and since He’s ignoring me I feel like I’m just going to start going backwards. I need like a sign or something to show me He’s doing something and not just sitting on a golden and red velvet chair with his back turned to me.

It’s like that Paramore song, “I’ll never let this go, but I can’t find the words to tell you, I don’t want to be alone, but now I feel like I don’t know you.” That’s how I feel about God right now, I don’t want Him to leave me alone, but I don’t feel like I don’t know Him.

The Bible is starting to just look like a bunch of words. I need more. I’m going to pray for more.


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