I was at a Cru meeting, the topic was dating and one of the members had a question for the staff, “if someone get pregnant is it okay to get married to them just because you’re having a baby with them?” One staff member said he thinks it’s okay and when we all looked at him dumbfounded he said, “now hear me out, I think our society puts too much emphasis on love. I think that sometimes we live in a fantasy land where we think all we need is love. Obviously they shouldn’t get married just because of the child but if that’s what pushes them then I think it’s okay.”
I think he was partially right, our society does put a lot of emphasis on love. When we were young we watched Disney movies that gave young girls the message that your dreams are only complete when you have found your prince. It is for this reason that we grow up thinking all we need is love to be happy. That’s a lie. Being married isn’t better than being single, it’s just different being single isn’t better than being married it’s just different. Problems are different, priorities change, and they both have their positive and negative sides. I think that through the music we listen to, the movies we watch and the people we surround ourselves with we acquire certain beliefs.
Yes, I do think we need love to be happy but that love doesn’t have to come from a dating relationship or a marriage. In fact, these things can sometimes bring despair when not exercised properly. What makes me whole, what keeps me going is faith and hope and love.
I have faith that current situations will get better
I have hope that things will work out in my favor
I have a love greater than anything I’ve ever experienced because it is perfect, because it is from The Perfect One
Love is not overrated, it’s where we seek love that can be overrated. Love between people, that’s overrated. People think that when they get married the problems in the relationship will dissolve and they will live happily ever after. Then when that doesn’t work they have children to mend their broken marriage. But they quickly discover children only put more strain on marriage so then they divorce and search again for their “true love” or their “prince charming.” You want to know why 50% of marriages fail? That’s why. There is no such thing as prince charming because prince charming is perfect and in this world there are only imperfections. The marriages that last, the ones that succeed are the ones where both people understand this, that their spouse will hurt them, make them angry, and be annoying because their spouse is not perfect. But you know what, they accept them anyway.
The marriages that succeed are the ones where neither person is putting the other up on a pedestal. The marriages that succeed are the ones built by survivors, the ones that tough it out and try and work at it because they know “I do” doesn’t me “I do…for now.” This is going to sound scary but it’s the truth, marriage is a life sentence, it should be treated as such.
When you say ‘I love you’ understand what you’re saying, you’re saying ‘I accept you, all of you.’ You’re saying, ‘you are important to me, you add to my happiness.’ You’re not saying, ‘I accept you as long as you stay perfect’ you’re not saying, ‘you are important to me sometimes.’
The word “love” is overused and abused and so is marriage, if you’re not in it for the long hall sit down, it’s not written anywhere that you have to get married.
Love in general is not overrated, when it is expressed correctly it is one of the best gifts man has.
However, we can make it overrated by saying the word when we don’t understand what we’re saying, jumping into marriage without thinking about it logically, and by searching the world for the perfect prince.